"Who Does What" interview with Debora - De Telegraaf

In the "Who Does What" column, we speak with a woman every week about the division of roles between her and her partner. The question is: who does what within the relationship? Today, we speak with Debora Huisman-Leeser (39). She has been married to Dustin (39) for over 12.5 years, and they have three children: Djulia (11), Samuel (5), and Gabriella (3), and they live in Amsterdam.

"I am the Chief Creative Officer at the watch and jewelry house Gassan, which means I am responsible for the organization's and stores' image. Additionally, I also handle the jewelry purchasing, including with my mother.

My work is very diverse. I work part-time and one day a week from home. But with your own business, you're always on; it never stops. When your work is also your hobby, it doesn't feel like working.

Glass Half Full

My husband Dustin also works in the family business. He started his own brand, Trophy by Gassan, within the company. He was always a professional soccer player but decided to stop due to injuries.

So, we both work in the family business and are financially equal. I am very satisfied with how we have arranged things financially now, but I must say that I'm just a content person: for me, the glass is always half full.

Daddy Day Besides being financially equal, we also try to divide the household equally. We mainly consider who is working on which day: if I work, my husband cooks and vice versa. This way, we split the tasks and still have time to spend with the children after a busy workday.

We both have our own roles in the household. For example, I take on more of the caregiving tasks with the children, and my husband more often guides them in activities like sports. We also divide the care for the children fairly: we do this by taking turns working from home.

Dustin, therefore, has a daddy day, where he takes care of the children. And I am very involved: I don't want my children ever to be able to say that I wasn't there enough.

Let It Go You see that many women are micromanagers and want to handle everything themselves: just let it go and let the men do more. It's important to give them the space to make their own mistakes. That way, you can also better maintain balance.

Standing on Their Own Additionally, we are trying to get our children more involved in the household: dressing themselves, making their beds, and opening the curtains. The more independent you make your children, the better they can stand on their own. I think it's important to raise your children to be independent and to allow them to make mistakes.

Money Is Not a Motivation I think it's very important as a woman to work and be a role model for your child, provided you maintain the right balance, of course. For me, it's important to plan quality moments and ask the right questions to my children: that way, I understand what's going on in their lives.

I find it very important to be there a lot for my children but also not to let go of my ambitions. I want to teach my children that you should do what you enjoy. Then it feels like a hobby; earning money should not be your motivation.

Disappointment Fortunately, I have a wonderful secretary who also schedules private appointments for me. Keeping up with communication from school is almost a full-time job in itself. It’s very difficult when you hear a week in advance that you need to be at school at 2:30 PM, while you’re supposed to be working that day.

I think they should take that into account much more. For a child, it is, of course, very disappointing if their mom or dad can't be there for a school appointment. But what schools sometimes expect from parents, I find a bit excessive."